On Memorial Day, 18-year old Kate Spelman and her dad Jim arrived home in Scituate, Massachusetts, wrapping up a three-month, 4,400-mile cross-country bicycle trip. (Kate's taking a year off before going to college.) Today Hannah Karp had a great interview in the Wall Street Journal with Kate, Jim and mom/wife Lynne, and one comment in particular really struck me:
How did it change your relationship with your daughter?
Jim: She invited me to join her in a journey, not shepherd her across the country. As a father--and a guy--that ain't easy. I struggled with that early on--how much to take charge and how much we are co-partners. If I allowed myself to think like a father it would have all come crumbling down. By the end, we were riding 100 miles a day and I'd be the one begging for a break.
Wow--what a gift to his daughter and to himself, to be able to step out of his role as father, as leader, in order to allow her to step forward as an adult, and to allow them both to have this incredible experience together as partners. We get so locked into the roles that we play in life--we come to think that they define us, when it's often the other way 'round.
You can learn more about the Spelmans in Jillian Fenimore's June 1st article in the Scituate Mariner and from the the Spelmans' very own Bike Trip Across America.
tags: kate spelman jim spelman bike trip across america hannah karp jillian fenimore
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