William Bridges on Transitions

Almost everyone I encounter in my work as a coach has recently been through a transition, is going through a transition, is on the verge of a transition, or senses a transition on the horizon.  (And all of the students I work with at Stanford fall into one of these categories.)  So it's no surprise that my copy of William Bridges' Transitions is well-thumbed and richly annotated.

I've learned many things from Bridges, but two fundamental concepts have been most valuable.  First is the distinction between transition and change.  From the preface of the book's second edition (2004):

Our society confuses them constantly, leading us to imagine that transition is just another word for change.  But it isn't.  Change is your move to a new city or your shift to a new job.  It is the birth of your new baby or the death of your father.  It is the switch from the old health plan at work to the new one, or the replacement of your manager by a new one, or it is the acquisition that your company just made.

In other words, change is situational.  Transition, on the other hand, is psychological.  It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life.  Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture.  Unless transition happens, the change won't work, because it doesn't "take."  Whatever word we use, our society talks a lot about change, but it seldom deals with transition.  Unfortunately for us, it is the transition that blind-sides us and is often the source of our troubles...

One of the most important differences between a change and a transition is that changes are driven to reach a goal, but transitions start with letting go of what no longer fits or is adequate to the life stage you are in.  You need to figure out what exactly that no-longer-appropriate thing is... [But w]hatever it is, it is internal.  Although it might be true that you emerge from a time of transition with the clear sense that it is time for you to end a relationship or leave a job, that simply represents the change that your transition has prepared you to make.  The transition itself begins with letting go of something that you have believed or assumed, some way you've always been or seen yourself, some outlook on the world or attitude toward others.

And second is the nature of transition, the central theme of Bridges' work:

All transitions are composed of (1) an ending, (2) a neutral zone, and (3) a new beginning...

Every transition begins with an ending.  We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up with the new one--not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to people and places that act as definitions of who we are...

First there is an ending, then a beginning, and important empty or fallow time in between.  That is the order of things in nature...

Bridges observes that in our culture we not only fail to acknowledge endings but also find ourselves at loose ends and stressed out in the fallow period that precedes the actual beginning.  He strongly encourages us to take a different approach:

One of the difficulties of being in transition in the modern world is that we have lost our appreciation for this gap in the continuity of existence.  For us, "emptiness" represents only the absence of something.  So when what's missing is something as important as relatedness and purpose and reality, we try to find ways of replacing those missing elements as quickly as possible...

You should not feel defensive about this apparently unproductive time-out during your transition points, for the neutral zone is meant to be a moratorium from the conventional activity of your everyday existence...

There are three main reasons for the emptiness between the old life and the new.  First, the process of transformation is essentially a death and rebirth process rather than one of mechanical modification...

The second reason for the gap between the old life and the new is that the process of disintegration and reintegration is the source of renewal...

The last reason for the emptiness between the stages of the life journey is the perspective it provides on the stages themselves... The neutral zone provides access to an angle of vision on life that one can get nowhere else.  And it is a succession of such views over a lifetime that produces wisdom.

Bridges' emphasis on the fallow period and its importance, despite (or because of) the stress it causes, reminds me of Kurt Lewin's model of change [PDF], which suggests that we must "unfreeze" before any change can take place (and that we "refreeze" afterwards.)  As you might imagine, "unfreezing" is hardly a stress-free process; as Edgar Schein has noted while elaborating on Lewin's work,

[H]uman change, whether at the individual or group level...[involves] painful unlearning...and difficult relearning as one cognitively [attempts] to restructure one's thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and attitudes. [Emphasis mine]

These ideas are of more than theoretical interest to me, not only because of my work as a coach and change management consultant, but also because of two important transitions I've experienced in recent years: I launched my coaching practice in 2006, and the following year I turned 40 and suffered the loss of several people in my life.  In both cases I realized belatedly that I hadn't fully acknowledged what was ending--a 15-year career in organizational management on the one hand, and the illusion that mortality was an abstract concept on the other--and it was important to take some time to reflect on what I had accomplished (and failed to accomplish) both professionally and personally, to signify and recognize an end to one phase of my career and to one chapter in my life.

Acknowledging those endings also helped me to understand and work through the fallow periods that corresponded to the transitions I was experiencing and prepared me to step into the new beginnings that followed.  It hasn't been a seamless process, by any means.  There are moments when I miss management, and I wonder how I'll fulfill my desire to lead while serving as a coach and consultant.  And there are certainly times when I refuse to admit that I'm probably in the second half of my life, with fewer years ahead of me than behind me.  But it would have been a hell of a lot more difficult without the benefit of what I've learned from thinkers like Bridges, Lewin and Schein, and for that, I'm most grateful.

Comments

[Dean]

Thanks for the reference to the book. I am in a transitional phase. I currently feel like I am in a "no-mans-land" (phase #2). I am reading the book and hope for some insights on the process.

[rvparker4@hotmail.com]

Thanks for your insights Ed which are so true and succinctly put. The processes of change and transition you describe are the same whatever age you are, 19, 40, 59, or 85 and the feelings are the same, but as you go through more transitions on your path through life, I find the less burdensome they become and you can be more detached and appreciate and savour them for what they are. They are happening all the time.

[Ed Batista]

Thanks, RV--I don't know if we ever master the transition process, but I fully agree that experience (and the guidance of thinkers like Bridges) allows us to approach it with a broader, more open perspective.

Dean, I missed your comment last Summer, but I hope you found Bridges' book as useful as I have.

[Elta Boshard]

As someone who seldom comment you most probably don't know I much I appreciate your articles - unless I tweet about it! So Ed, just to let you know out of sight is not really out of RAM ;)
Last time I visited this review was December 2008 -How time flies......I had to come back here because something bothered me - And now I find is was RV's comment "whatever age you are, 19, 40, 59, or 85 and the feelings are the same"
Next year I’ll be 70 –Is that why I am battling more than ever to get out of no-man’s land and stay there?! And the feelings are NOT QUITE the same...

[edbatista]

Thanks, Elta--I appreciate that. And I imagine that hitting any milestone age brings up new feelings about transitions--I know I certainly felt that way when I turned 40, and I expect something similar (but, as you say, not quite the same) at 50. I hope you've found some value in returning to Bridges' model.