Sigh. Why must we learn some lessons more than once? As I wrote almost exactly one year ago:
If we're doing work that's meaningful to us, we tend to feel caring
and compassion for our colleagues and managers–and at the same time,
we also feel frustrated and angry with them on a regular basis because
of the professional demands that continually pull our lives out of
balance.
Standard operating procedure in most organizations is to sweep those
negative feelings under the rug until they get expressed in
unproductive ways (at work or elsewhere.) That's clearly not
helpful–but what's also lost in that process are the positive
feelings we have for our colleagues and managers. Note that these
oppositional feelings don't cancel each other out. The frustration and
anger we might feel at our colleagues and managers is just as real as
the caring and compassion we also feel for those same people. We have to hold on to, honor and express both sets of feelings, as contradictory as they might be.
Having written recently about the power of learning from mistakes, I feel some shame at having to re-learn this particular lesson. OK, third time's the charm, right?
Photo by asterl@rs. Yay Flickr and Creative Commons.
2 Responses
Agree Ed. Rationality has triumphed over emotion. As managers/leaders we invest heavily in developing our rational muscle while our other side (emotion) withers. It’s as if we are all suffering from “a stroke (medical) of managerial normality. The time has arrived when rational argument is no longer sufficient. Necessary but not sufficient. It’s time to work on the other side. How we understand and use emotion. And were do you go to learn about emotion … acting school (I’m serious). What’s happening in your world and at Stanford to develop greater emotional flexibility in leaders?
Very interesting that you mention acting, Bernie. Deb Gruenfeld, a prof at Stanford (although not one I work with) recently began teaching “Acting with Power,” a course for MBA students that involves making use of acting techniques while developing interpersonal and influencing skills.
From the November 2007 edition of Stanford Business magazine: “…Stanford faculty are exploring ways to teach students to use nonverbal communication to become better business leaders. Professor Deborah Gruenfeld is developing a new elective, Acting with Power, designed to help MBA students tap into the craft of acting to project their authority. Gruenfeld says acting can be an effective tool for business students because it ‘involves using your voice, body, and your mind to alter yourself to play a particular role.'”