There's an emerging body of research which suggests that the ability to "self-monitor" has a significant effect on our relationships and professional prospects, particularly for women. [1] So what does "self-monitoring" mean in practice? The concept is based on a 13-question instrument developed by psychologists Richard Lennox and Raymond Wolfe. [2] The first seven items in the instrument refer to one's "ability to modify self-presentation":
1. In social situations, I have the ability to alter my behavior if I feel that something else is called for.
2. I have the ability to control the way I come across to people, depending on the impression I wish to give them.
3. When I feel that the image I am portraying isn't working, I can readily change it to something that does.
4. I have trouble changing my behavior to suit different people and different situations.
5. I have found that I can adjust my behavior to meet the requirements of any situation I find myself in.
6. Even when it might be to my advantage, I have difficulty putting up a good front.
7. Once I know what the situation calls for, it's easy for me to regulate my actions accordingly.
And the final six items in the instrument refer to one's "sensitivity to expressive behaviors of others":
8. I am often able to read people's true emotions correctly through their eyes.
9. In conversations, I am sensitive to even the slightest change in the facial expression of the person I'm conversing with.
10. My powers of intuition are quite good when it comes to understanding others' emotions and motives.
11. I can usually tell when others consider a joke to be in bad taste, even though they may laugh convincingly.
12. I can usually tell when I've said something inappropriate by reading it in the listener's eyes.
13. If someone is lying to me, I usually know it at once from that person's manner of expression.
While we might readily agree that the ability to "modify our self-presentations" and to "sense the expressive behaviors of others" are essential interpersonal skills, it can be challenging to determine how we might improve our skills in these areas without a clearer sense of just what those vague phrases mean. So even without completing the instrument, it can be useful to see these concepts broken down into specific behaviors.
Such clarity won't immediately translate into more effective interpersonal behavior, of course. As with all desired behavior change, awareness is often insufficient on its own--but it's the necessary first step. My experience as a coach is consistent with the research's suggestion that self-monitoring can have a significant positive effect on our relationships, and I suspect that a clearer understanding of the behaviors that comprise self-monitoring, active intention to express those behaviors, and periodic reflection on our effectiveness can all contribute to improved interpersonal experiences.
This is a companion piece to Self-Monitoring and Authenticity and Cautionary Tales (Authenticity at Work).
Footnotes
[1] For research on self-monitoring and women:
- Overcoming the Backlash Effect: Self-Monitoring and Women's Promotions (Olivia O'Neill and Charles O'Reilly, Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 2011)
- What’s Good for the Goose May Not Be Good for the Gander: The Benefits of Self-Monitoring for Men and Women (Frank Flynn, Journal of Applied Psychology, 2006)
[2] Revision of the Self-Monitoring Scale (Richard Lennox and Raymond Wolfe, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1984)
Photo by impetush.
