The Inside-Out Effect offers a set of tools and techniques that support personal growth and development, with a focus on professional fulfillment and effectiveness. Woven throughout are first-person perspectives from Michael and Behnam on their own journeys that give the book a warm, conversational feel.
Michael and Behnam call their organizing principle Know-Be-Lead: First, know yourself more fully and at a deeper level. Then be that fuller self by setting goals and taking steps to effect change where needed. Finally, lead others authentically by helping them to know and be their fuller selves in turn. The book introduces tools and techniques to support each phase of the process, often discussing the behavioral research or psychological principles that explain why they work.
Starting with Know, Michael and Behnam note that "The first step toward greater self-awareness is clarifying who you are not," [p 38], and they discuss the concept of "identity pitfalls": We can deceive ourselves into thinking that our stories about ourselves, our appearances, our thoughts and emotions constitute our identities, when they're merely fleeting or superficial aspects. Michael and Behnam cite Eckhart Tolle's concept of the ego as an "illusory sense of identity," and while I'm ambivalent about Tolle as a contemporary spiritual figure, I fully agree that we can take the most trivial parts of our selves and treat them as if they were the most important--a theme echoed by writers from Seneca to David Foster Wallace.
Having begun the process of understanding who we're not, Michael and Behnam move on to exploring who we are. They recommend a range of tools, from personality diagnostics to journaling and meditation, aimed at helping us find the sweet spot that exists at the intersection of our strengths, our sources of meaning, and our sources of joy. Then they walk through the process of defining our values and pulling all this data together into a Calling-Vision Statement, "a guide for the actions you take...a map for how you will show up in every one of your interactions." [p 101]
One cautionary note on personality diagnostics: While Michael and Behnam write thoughtfully about their personal experiences with the MBTI and the Enneagram, and there are coaches I respect who use these tools extensively, they're subject to misinterpretation and misuse. Tools like this can serve as helpful starting points in seeking to understand ourselves, but I believe we need to assess their results with care and healthy skepticism.
The Be section of the book focuses on identifying goals and effecting change, ranging from small steps that will allow us to feel more fulfilled in our current lives to large-scale, fundamental transformations. Michael and Behnam recognize that while goals can be powerful motivators, they can also generate anxiety. While small changes may feel within our capabilities, we may doubt whether they'll make a meaningful difference. And while we may feel the need to make big changes in our lives, we may also worry that it's too late to do so--or that the financial impact of such changes will be unacceptable. Michael and Behnam discuss research from a number of sources that provides a helpful context within which we can wrestle with these concerns and reach our own conclusions.
In their chapter on change, Michael and Behnam focus on the importance of emotion and ritual, referencing Jonathan Haidt's "Elephant and Rider" metaphor to describe our emotional and rational dimensions. Sustainable change occurs when we both 1) provide the "rider"--our rational, analytical consciousness--with a clear "map" in the form of accurate data about ourselves and specific, written goals, and 2) spur the "elephant"--our emotions--in the right direction through a motivating vision, peer support, and tools such as visualization, energy management and action triggers.
The book's concluding Lead section addresses the importance of authenticity and emotional intelligence in leading others, and a final chapter emphasizes the importance of mindset, celebrating milestones and victories and the ongoing process of self-renewal.
While I recommend The Inside-Out Effect, I do think it could be stronger in a few areas. There are passages where Michael and Behnam quickly touch on a topic that warrants further exploration. For example, in their chapter on change, they note the importance of self-compassion when we fail to accomplish our goals, and in their chapter on leadership they mention the value of standing up for one's beliefs even when it's difficult. These are complex dilemmas that come up frequently in my work with clients and students--and in my own life--and there are no simple solutions. I certainly don't expect Michael and Behnam to provide ready-made answers, but a deeper discussion of these challenges would be helpful.
Michael and Behman are scrupulous about citing their references, and I appreciate their generous acknowledgment of the work of others who've influenced their thinking. That said, there are a few works that appear frequently in the text or the footnotes, such as Chip and Dan Heath's Switch and Steve Jobs' 2005 Commencement address at Stanford, and while those works are clearly top-shelf influences, seeing them crop up multiple times felt somewhat repetitive.
These issues aside, The Inside-Out Effect is a great resource for anyone looking for a straightforward, actionable set of tools to make change easier, ranging from modest behavioral goals to a large-scale professional transition. While I've been transparent about my friendship with Michael in this review, I've also been candid with my criticism, so I feel completely objective in encouraging you to buy the book
