When we're interacting with people of differing status, Columbia Business School professor Adam Galinsky advises us to pay attention to the "power amplification effect." In these situations, Galinsky notes, "the words of those with power loom large over those with less power." [1] He cites three specific ways this can happen:
- Any feedback, positive or negative, from a powerful figure often has a stronger impact than was intended.
- Silence from those with more power creates anxiety in those with less power.
- Ambiguous comments by those with more power tend to be interpreted negatively by those with less.
This is what a CEO I once worked with called "the Blue Problem." He had to be tremendously careful when offering any opinion on his company's products and services, because if he said something along the lines of, "Oh, I sort of liked that better when it was blue," it was heard by his employees as "CHANGE IT BACK TO BLUE!"
As Galinsky notes, this isn't always a bad thing: "Expressions of gratitude and praise are particularly resonant when expressed by those with power." But he also cites research that shows that "the powerful express less gratitude and less praise than those with less power." Another CEO I've worked with has learned that when she gives employees some brief, heartfelt positive feedback, it has a surprisingly powerful motivational effect--but she's realized that she has to go out of her way to make this effort, because her natural tendency is to focus on things that aren't going well.
I fully agree with Galinsky's advice to be mindful of the power differentials that exist in our relationships and to avoid causing unintended stress or anxiety when we're in positions of authority. But I'd qualify this by adding that the goal isn't to minimize the impact of our power and authority--it's to employ the right amount of power and authority given the situation.
I've worked with many clients and MBA students at Stanford whose discomfort with power and authority undermined their ability to command respect and build strong working relationships. This can lead to a pattern of "underdoing it and overdoing it," in which people who are uncomfortable with power repeatedly fail to assert themselves only to reach a tipping point and then exert far more energy than is necessary. [2]
As is so often the case, emotions are at the heart of these issues. The problems cited by Galinsky can be viewed as a lack of what neuroscientist Richard Davidson calls "social intuition," the ability to sense and empathize with the feelings of others. [3] Leaders--and anyone in the higher status role in an interaction--must cultivate the ability to be mindful of and inquire about the feelings of others, which entails a deliberate effort to be more empathetic, an eminently learnable skill. [4] At the same time leaders must come to terms with their own feelings about power and authority, a process that may involve increasing their comfort with discomfort. [5]
Footnotes
[1] When You're in Charge, Your Whisper May Feel Like a Shout (Adam Galinsky, The New York Times, 2015). Thanks to Lightspeed partner Jeremy Liew.
[2] Underdoing It and Overdoing It (Assertiveness Over Time)
[3] The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How Its Unique Patterns Affect the Way You Think, Feel, and Live--and How You Can Change Them (Richard Davidson and Sharon Begley, 2012)
[4] For more on learning empathy, see Can Doctors Learn Empathy? (Pauline Chen MD, The New York Times, 2012) and Can compassion and empathy be learned? (Dorrie Fontaine RN, The Daily Progress, 2013)
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