Bec Stupak Diop is an artist and designer now living in Dakar, Senegal, although we met when she was working with Bay Area technology companies a few years ago. In a recent exchange she described the transformational journey that she'd undertaken since then, a process that began with this pivotal moment:
I took a look at my life and asked some important questions: What is my vision of myself and how many hours of the day go toward that? How many hours take me away from that?
It proved to be a very useful measure of how I spend my life. It's easy to draw! Just look at one day and see how many hours go toward aspects of your life that feel aligned and how many move away. Also, where do those hours fall in the day? I was squeezing my most favorite things into 2-3 hours from 5am-8am in the mornings, and then followed that with 8+ hours of nothing-very-interesting.
I've been practicing leading my life through a lens of joy. What brings me joy? Do more of that.
Important questions, indeed. Almost all of my clients are leaders in professional roles that they intend to occupy for the foreseeable future, and their positions are typically well-compensated and high-status. But those jobs are also demanding and stressful in ways that lead a number of clients to imagine alternatives.
Occasionally I work with clients as they actively navigate a transition to a new chapter. More commonly I work with them as they redesign various aspects of their professional or personal lives to be more rewarding. And Bec's questions strike me as profoundly useful in that process, no matter what changes we might be considering.
What is my vision of myself?
Values in Action Survey of Character Strengths
One of the few instruments I use in my practice and in The Art of Self-Coaching is the "Values in Action Survey of Character Strengths;" This instrument, commonly called the VIA, was developed under the leadership of the University of Pennsylvania's Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, and the late Christopher Peterson, an influential psychologist at the University of Michigan. As Seligman and Peterson write in Character Strengths and Virtues, "We can now measure much of what is wrong with people, but what about what about those things that are right?"
The Big Picture (Self-Coaching, Values and Vision)
Our personal values serve as the foundation for our vision for ourselves. The concept of a "vision" is inherently fuzzy and susceptible to abuse--we've all read "vision statements" full of noble sentiments that are routinely ignored. But any good tool can be misused, and I want to rehabilitate this concept. I also want to distinguish between a vision and a goal. Goal-setting is an important step, providing both direction and motivation for the work that follows. [7] But even our most ambitious goals are components of a larger, more comprehensive vision. Our vision for ourselves should be more deeply rooted and enduring than any particular set of goals, and should be the product of far-reaching reflection.
Developing Your Professional Vision
Truly great professionals understand the difference between what should never change and what should be open for change, between what is genuinely sacred and what is not. This rare ability to manage continuity and change--requiring a consciously practiced discipline--is closely linked to the ability to develop a vision.
Leaders are constantly 1) acting outside their comfort zones, 2) striving to meet the divergent needs of various groups, and 3) deciding what information should be disclosed and what should be withheld. Under these conditions it's no surprise that a leader may struggle to understand what it means to "be authentic." This challenge can be further compounded by our definition of the "authentic self" and the means by which we encounter it.
How many hours of the day go toward that?
Important activities are truly meaningful and fulfilling--to you, to the people who matter to you, to your organization, or to some cause that you believe in. They’re not necessarily time-dependent; they can be accomplished almost anytime, and if they go undone for a short stretch no one may even notice.
Urgent activities have a deadline attached to them that matters to someone—although not necessarily to you. They are time-dependent, at least in someone’s mind, and if they go undone that someone is going to be unhappy. They’re not necessarily meaningful or fulfilling, and accomplishing them may not actually make a significant difference.
Growth, Profitability and Return on Attention
When considering different tasks, projects and opportunities, how should we decide where to focus our time and energy? If our attention is our most precious resource, how can we determine where to invest it and what returns we should expect?
Happy Workaholics Need Boundaries, Not Balance
Success is typically a function of our passion for work and accomplishment—my clients and students are generally "happy workaholics" who love what they do and wish there were more hours in the day to get things done. (I view myself this way as well.) The concept of life/work balance isn’t that helpful for us, because there’s always more work to do, we’re eager to do it, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. In some cases, particularly in junior roles early in our careers, this tendency can be exploited by a dysfunctional culture or an uncaring manager, and at those times we need to protect ourselves to avoid burnout. But as we advance professionally we’re less subject to those external forces, and we need to protect ourselves primarily from our own internal drive.
How many hours take me away from that?
We've evolved to think extensively about other people and to be keenly attuned to competitive dynamics. This gives us a tremendous advantage as a species--but can leave us deeply unhappy as individuals. What can we do about it?
Not Every End Is a Goal (On Midlife Malaise)
You're a senior leader in the prime of your career who's attained a degree of professional and personal success. You're keenly aware of the advantages you enjoy and feel grateful for the opportunity to do meaningful work that's well-compensated. You still have financial goals and would enjoy earning more, but that's no longer a primary driver. And yet despite these accomplishments it's not uncommon for you to feel a sense of restlessness or disenchantment. If so, you're similar to a number of my clients.
Show Me Your Calendar and I'll Show You What You Value
Money is a less meaningful measure of value than time. Money's relative nature makes it less helpful as a guide to what truly matters to each of us. Time, in contrast, is a more accurate metric. We all have the same number of hours in the day, days in the week, weeks in the year. And how we allocate that time says everything about what we value. I'm keenly aware that having (and lacking) money has a substantial impact on how we spend our time--and yet even when our decision to allocate time to an activity or task (or not) is influenced by our financial affairs, we're still saying something about what we value.
Thanks to Bec Stupak Diop for the inspiration.
