What am I most alive to?
I'm alive to my grievances and disappointments. They arise at the slightest provocation. And should I momentarily ignore them, vast enterprises will offer their assistance by reminding me.
I'm not very alive to all the sources of fulfillment I enjoy. These gifts I fail to acknowledge.
I'm alive to my aches and limitations, the slow-motion train wreck of middle-age. And should I momentarily forget the reality of life as a mortal creature, vast enterprises will offer their assistance by promising immortality.
I'm not very alive to the fact that I am alive. Breathing normally. Not in any real pain. In full possession of my senses and faculties. Able to walk unassisted, and feed and bathe myself. These blessings I take for granted.
I'm alive to all the things I'm "missing" and "need," the absurd shopping list that I carry around in my head. And should I momentarily misplace it, vast enterprises will offer their assistance by suggesting alternatives.
I'm not very alive to the diminishing returns and ultimate uselessness of material things. This truth I lose sight of.
I'm alive to everything I think I lack. I'm not very alive to all I have to be thankful for. This I can change, but only when I stop and consider what's truly on the scales, and when I decline the assistance of all those vast enterprises.
Happy Thanksgiving.
For Further Reading
Stop Trying to Be "Good Enough" by "Getting Better"
Gualala (On Mortality and Gratitude)
Bad Is Stronger Than Good (Roy Bauermeister, Catrin Finkenauer, Ellen Bratslavsky, and Kathleen D. Vohs). One of the most influential papers ever written, this 2001 article from the Review of General Psychology explains much about the dynamics noted above.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (Oliver Burkeman, 2021)
Death: The End of Self-Improvement (Joan Tollison, 2019)
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Pema Chödrön, 2016)
The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters (Emily Esfahani Smith, 2017)
Gratitude (Oliver Sacks, 2015)
Photo of Point Reyes from Chimney Rock.
