Ed Batista

Adventure, Tragedy, Comedy

John Williams' historical novel Augustus tells the life story of the founder of the Roman Empire through a series of invented documents--letters, journal entries, official records--most of which are written about or to the man himself. The book concludes by finally revealing Augustus's own voice in a letter to a trusted confidant, written shortly before his death at age 75. It's a magnificent conclusion to a brilliant book, and I find this passage particularly striking:

The young man, who does not know the future, sees life as a kind of epic adventure, an Odyssey through strange seas and unknown islands, where he will test and prove his powers, and thereby discover his immortality. The man of middle years, who has lived the future that he once dreamed, sees life as a tragedy; for he has learned that his power, however great, will not prevail against those forces of accident and nature to which he gives the names of gods, and has learned that he is mortal. But the man of age, if he plays his assigned role properly, must see life as a comedy. For his triumphs and his failures merge, and one is no more the occasion for pride or shame than the other; and he is neither the hero who proves himself against those forces, nor the protagonist who is destroyed by them... [p 274-5]

I certainly see my own illusions reflected here, and although I don't feel quite ready to call myself a "man of age," these days I am less distressed by my failures and less excited by my triumphs. It's not that I don't have these feelings, but it's easier to step out from inside them, observe them, and let them go. Extremes of shame and pride alike seem a bit absurd.

This emotional evolution is a counterpart to Simon Wardley's Three Stages of Expertise, in which we start out as Beginners who know nothing, we then become Hazards because we think we know so much more than we actually do, and we're finally Experts when we realize how little we truly know relative to all there is to be known. We find wisdom when we grasp our ignorance.

 

Photo by the Institute for the Study of the Ancient World.

Realizing the Futility of Life

Realizing the Futility of Life, by Bai Juyi

[Written on the walls of a priest's cell, ca. 828]

Ever since the time when I was a lusty boy

Down till now when I am ill and old

The things I have cared for have been different at different times

But my being busy, that has never changed.

Then, on the shore, building sandcastles;

Now, at Court, covered with tinkling jade.

This and that--equally childish games.

Things whose substance passes in a moment of time!

While the hands are busy, the heart cannot understand;

When there are no Scriptures, then Doctrine is sound.

Even should one zealously strive to learn the Way,

That very striving will make one's error more.

---

Translated by Arthur Waley.

From Zen Poems, edited by Peter Harris.

Photo by Nicole Bratt.

Erin Meyer on Culture and Communication

Erin Meyer's The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business offers a thoughtful and detailed exploration of the ways in which differences in national culture affect our efforts to communicate across borders.

Meyer, an American who teaches at INSEAD, draws on the work of previous researchers in the field, most notably Geert Hofstede and Fons Trompenaars and she shares credit generously, but her own significant contribution is the Culture Map itself, a framework that looks at communication on multiple dimensions and locates various national cultures on each one.

I've distilled her findings for the seven largest economies in the world at the moment--the United States, China, Japan, Germany, the United Kingdom, France, and Brazil--and mapped them on each spectrum. The indented passages below are excerpted from The Culture Map and correspond to the slides above, interspersed with my comments on the implications of this data for working in the US. 

1. Communication Style

Low-Context: Good communication is precise, simple, and clear. Messages are expressed and understood at face value. Repetition is appreciated if it helps clarify the communication.

High-Context: Good communication is sophisticated, nuanced, and layered. Messages are both spoken and read between the lines. Messages are often implied but not plainly expressed. (page 39)

It's noteworthy to me--albeit unsurprising--that the US is the most extreme low-context culture in Meyer's study, and I find this one of the most striking data points from her findings. It seems to explain much of the communication difficulties I've seen and experienced across cultural boundaries.

2. Evaluation Style (Negative Feedback)

Direct: Negative feedback is provided frankly, bluntly, honestly. Negative messages stand alone, not softened by positive ones. Absolute descriptors are often used ("totally inappropriate," "completely unprofessional") when criticizing. Criticism may be given to an individual in front of a group.

Indirect: Negative feedback to a colleague is provided softly, subtly, diplomatically. Positive messages are used to wrap negative ones. Qualifying descriptors are often used ("sort of inappropriate," "slightly unprofessional") when criticizing. Criticism is only given in private. (page 69)

My own experience in the US corresponds with our position in the middle of the spectrum, and I've found that a soft start helps a great deal when providing negative feedback in this culture.

3. Disagreement Style

Confrontational: Disagreement and debate are positive for the team or organization. Open confrontation is appropriate and will not negatively impact the relationship.

Conflict-Averse: Disagreement and debate are negative for the team or organization. Open confrontation is inappropriate and will break group harmony or negatively impact the relationship. (page 201)

I suspect that the US position in the middle of this spectrum reflects a national tendency to seek a balance between confrontation and harmony, and at the same time my experience as a professional and a coach makes clear that this varies widely across organizations and industries. I'm aware of professional settings in the US that are extremely confrontational and others that are just as conflict-averse.

4. Persuasive Style

Practical Applications: Individuals are trained to begin with a fact, statement, or opinion and later add concepts to back up or explain the conclusion as necessary. The preference is to begin a message or report with an executive summary or bullet points. Discussions are approached in a practical concrete manner. Theoretical or philosophical discussions are avoided in a business environment.

Conceptual Principles: Individuals have been trained to first develop the theory or complex concept before presenting a fact, statement, or opinion. The preference is to begin a message or report by building up a theoretical argument before moving on to a conclusion. The conceptual principles underlying each situation are valued. (page 96)

The emphasis on practical applications is consistent throughout much of US business culture, although in certain settings you can strengthen your point by noting the conceptual basis later (but rarely--if ever--up front.)

5. Source of Trust

Task-Accomplishment: Trust is based through business-related activities. Work relationships are built and dropped easily, based on the practicality of the situation. You do good work consistently, you are reliable, I enjoy working with you: I trust you.

Personal Relationships: Trust is built through sharing meals, evening drinks, and visits at the coffee machine. Work relationships build up slowly over the long term. I've seen who you are at a deep level, I've shared personal time with you, I know others well who trust you: I trust you. (page 171)

This finding of Meyer's was one of the most enlightening for me, perhaps because it used plain language to explain subtle social dynamics I've sensed but haven't fully understood. It was no surprise to learn that the US is the culture most focused on task accomplishment as a source of trust, and I see this as an all-too-common source of cross-cultural misunderstandings.

---

Notes

1) Modifications to Meyer's model

In this post I've re-ordered the sequence of the concepts from Meyer's book, changed some of the headings, and flipped a few of the endpoints to make a more consistent slide deck. (The page numbers cited are from Public Affairs' 2014 hardback edition.) I've cut out two concepts Meyer discusses, power distance and decision-making, because they were less relevant to my topic here, but I wrote about Hofstede's research on the former in 2008.

2) Additional work by Meyer

If you'd like to learn more about Meyer's work before reading her entire book, I highly recommend two of her HBR articles from 2014, Navigating the Cultural Minefield and One Reason Cross-Cultural Small Talk Is So Tricky. The latter makes the vivid distinction between "peach cultures" (like the U.S. and Brazil) and "coconut cultures" (like Germany and Russia), which Meyer credits to Trompenaars.

3) Limitations on use of national-culture data

When observing cultural tendencies at the national level, we need to be extremely careful about how we make use of this information. In The Ecological Fallacy in National Culture Research, Paul Brewer and Sunil Venaik of the University of Queensland offer an important cautionary note:

To assume that these national-level dimensions exist at the levels of individuals or organizations in a society is invalid and represents a form of "ecological fallacy..."  The "ecological fallacy" is the error of assuming that statistical relationships at a group level also hold for individuals in the group. It is the error of inferring individual-level relationships from group aggregated data. [page 1064]

Brewer and Venaik go on to quote Hofstede himself:

Cultures are not king-size individuals: They are wholes and their internal logic cannot be understood in the terms used for the personality dynamics of individuals... [The cross-cultural dimensions] are meant to be a test of national culture, not of individual personality; they distinguish cultural groups or populations, not individuals. [page 1069]

They conclude by emphasizing the limitations on the utility of national-level data at the level of organizations and individuals:

Our analysis of the implications of the ecological fallacy makes meaningful interpretation of the national culture scores highly problematic, if not impossible... While there is not and probably never will be a consensus on the "right" approach to understanding the mix of social culture and organizations, we should at least recognize the complexity of the interplay of the two... [page 1078]

Broad, general characterizations of societies on national culture dimensions offer limited insights to managers about the characteristics of individuals, which is the level at which managers need and seek information about a country or society. Unfortunately, absence of such research by scholars has forced practitioners to take the easy, albeit wrong, path of simply using the national culture dimensions to characterize individuals, thus committing an [ecological fallacy]. [page 1080]

Given this analysis, my modest and provisional conclusion on how to make use of any data on national-level tendencies at the organizational and individual level is to proceed very cautiously. Attributing organizational or individual characteristics to national-level tendencies may be no different than any other form of stereotyping. Such attributions provide a reductive and insufficient explanation for our observations and minimize or ignore differences among organizations and individuals within a given national culture.

Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative

Ironies abound as I turn to this review of Scott Eblin's Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative. I've been meaning to write about it for months, but have continually delayed, feeling too busy with students, clients, my own writing and life in general. It would be inaccurate to say that I'm "overworked," but my plate's been pretty full for a while. (Irony #1.)

I finally made time for it when a recent cold left me feeling capable of reading and writing, but not well enough to hold any coaching sessions, so I had an unexpectedly empty calendar for a few days. I know myself well enough to be confident that I got sick because my self-care practices have fallen apart the last few weeks. To take the most relevant example, after meditating roughly every other day from August 2014 through mid-February, I've meditated just 3 times in the last 5 weeks. (Irony #2.)

And all this has happened as I prepare to teach The Art of Self-Coaching, a new course at Stanford aimed at helping MBAs manage themselves more effectively through periods of difficulty and transition. (Irony #3. Coach, coach thyself.)

Some disclosures: I've met Scott and consider him a friend, and we've occasionally referred potential clients to each other, although we don't have a business relationship. But even if I didn't know Scott at all I'd be a fan of this book because I believe in its message--as he writes in the Introduction,

Mndfulness is the intersection of two qualities: awareness and intention. By awareness, I mean awareness of what's going on both around you and inside of you in any given moment. Being aware enables you to act in the moment with the intention of creating a particular outcome or result.

The purpose of Overworked and Overwhelmed is to make the practice of mindfulness easy, accessible, and relevant for people who feel like they're trapped on the gerbil wheel. The goal is not to turn you into a Buddhist monk or nun but to offer the knowledge that, along with simple, practical, and applicable routines, will help you align your work and the rest of your life with the results that matter most. The emphasis here is on small steps that, when taken consistently over time, lead to big results."

This is exactly how I talk about mindfulness with my clients and students. A tremendous amount of research has emerged in the last few decades, which Scott cites in the book, that suggests the power of mindfulness practices to improve our ability to cope with stress, manage our emotions, focus our attention, and perform effectively under difficult circumstances. To reap these benefits we need not embrace any spiritual principles that have historically been associated with mindfulness or meditation, nor do we need to make major changes in our daily lives. As Scott notes, all that's required is a consistent commitment to some simple, regular routines.

The centerpiece of this process is meditation, but Scott discusses a wide range of other activities that contribute to a heightened state of internal and external awareness, from regular physical activity and better sleep habits to breathing exercises and listening skills. And one of the book's great strengths is its open-ended, non-prescriptive approach to these practices. I talk about mindfulness, exercise, sleep, and stress reduction with almost all of my coaching clients, but I don't prescribe any particular set of practices for a given individual. We're much too complex for any single formula to apply to everyone, and Overworked and Overwhelmed respects this complexity, providing readers with a thoughtful set of possibilities and yet also recognizing that each reader must decide what will work best for themselves.

Another strength of the book is Scott's voice as an author, which shows up not only in his informal, conversational style, but also in his level of personal disclosure. He reveals that in 2009 he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and that his commitment to meditation, yoga, and an improved diet in recent years "literally saved my life." And he's not merely surviving; he writes that today, "I'm stronger than I've ever been before and savoring each moment of life in a way that I never have before."

If you're already a committed meditator or actively engaged in other mindfulness practices, I suspect you'll still find something of value in Overworked and Overwhelmed, particularly in Scott's discussion of how these practices can contribute to a greater sense of meaning and purpose. And if you've been curious about (or skeptical of) the value of mindfulness as a personal management tool, I recommend Scott's book as an engaging introduction to the topic.

The (Revised) HBR Guide to Coaching Employees

A revised edition of the HBR Guide to Coaching Employees is now available, and although I'm hardly an objective critic I think it's a substantial improvement on the original.

I wrote the Introduction, Why Coach?, as well as Giving Feedback that Sticks and Help People Help Themselves, on self-coaching, and I'm really proud to be associated with this volume.

The most obvious change is a more compact, reader-friendly format (5" x 9"), but there a number of revisions to the contents as well:

INTRODUCTION: Why Coach? by Ed Batista

SECTION 1: PREPARING TO COACH YOUR EMPLOYEES

1. Shift Your Thinking to Coach Effectively by Candice Frankovelgia

2. Set the State to Stimulate Growth by Edward M. Hallowell, MD

3. Earn Your Employees' Trust by Jim Dougherty

SECTION 2: COACHING YOUR EMPLOYEES

4. Holding a Coaching Session by Amy Jen Su

5. Following Up After a Coaching Session by Pam Krulitz and Nina Bowman

6. Giving Feedback That Sticks by Ed Batista

7. Enlist Knowledge Coaches by Dorothy Leonard and Walter Swap

8. Coaching Effectively in Less Time by Daisy Wademan Dowling

9. Help People Help Themselves by Ed Batista

10. Avoid Common Coaching Mistakes by Muriel Maignan Wilkins

SECTION 3: CUSTOMIZE YOUR COACHING

11. Tailor Your Coaching to People's Learning Styles
by David A. Kolb and Kay Peterson

12. Coaching Your Stars, Steadies, and Strugglers by Jim Grinnell

13. Coaching Your Rookie Managers by Carol A. Walker

14. Coaching Rising Managers to Emotional Maturity by Kerry A. Bunker, Kathy E. Kram, and Sharon Ting

15. Coaching Teams by J. Richard Hackman

---

Thanks to Ania Wieckowski, editor of the current edition, Lisa Burrell, editor of the original edition, and Tim Sullivan, who asked me to get involved in the first place.

Thanks to my colleagues at Stanford: Andrea Corney, Carole Robin, Chris McCanna, Collins Dobbs, Gary Dexter, Hugh Keelan, John Cronkite, Lara Tiedens, Ricki Frankel, Scott Bristol, and Yifat Sharabi-Levine.

Thanks to my coach, mentor, and fairy godmother Mary Ann Huckabay.

And thanks to my MBA students and my clients in private practice, who have taught me more than anyone.

Racing Up the Ladder of Inference

We're generally intelligent people, and yet we all find ourselves engaging in counterproductive behavior on occasion. What's happening here? Where do we typically go wrong? And why?

One of the best explanations for our counterproductive behavior is provided by the Ladder of Inference. This elegant model was first developed by Chris Argyris, building on the work of S.I. Hayakawa and Alford Korzybski, and articulated further by William Isaacs and Rick Ross. Start at the bottom and work your way up:

Selection: Our starting point in any experience is the process of identifying and selecting certain data from the sum total of all observable data.

Interpretation: We interpret the data we select and invest it with meaning, a process that occurs at the cultural and personal levels. Argyris describes "culturally understood meanings" as interpretations "that individuals with different views...would agree were communicated." [1] Note that the "culture" in question may range from a nationality to an organization to a two-person relationship, but whatever its scope, certain meanings will be commonly understood by all members. At the personal level, individuals from the same culture may interpret the same data differently, depending on their particular perspective.

Conceptualization: As we select and intepret data over time, we develop a set of theories and beliefs that explain our interpretations. These theories and beliefs--which Argyris and Chris Schön called "mental maps" and "mental models"--help us make sense of not only of specific individuals, relationships, groups and situations but also of how people generally operate in organizations and the world at large.

Action: Finally, we take action on the basis of these theories and beliefs, which provide us with a set of behavioral algorithms--habitual responses to certain circumstances that kick in when a given mental model is triggered.

The key to the Ladder of Inference (and its value in helping us to understand our counterproductive behavior) is to note the tremendous potential for misunderstanding at each stage of the process:

Selection (Where We Go Wrong): Because it's impossible to take in all the observable data in a given experience, we rely upon cognitive biases and heuristics to help us focus our attention on the data that (we believe) matters most. [2] Although this process is essential in allowing us to function efficiently, it's also subject to significant error, particularly when we're under stress. So it's worth asking: Are we truly focusing on the most important data, or are our biases and heuristics causing us to fixate on certain data while ignoring others?

Interpretation (Where We Go Wrong): The meanings we impose upon the data we select are highly subjective, seen through the lenses of both the surrounding culture and our personal experience. This isn't to suggest that all our interpretations are suspect; we've evolved a keen ability to rapidly and accurately interpret massive amounts of data. And yet our overall effectiveness in this process means that we rarely stop to question our interpretations; we automatically assume that meaning is inherent in the data itself, rather than something we actively construct. So it's worth asking: Does a given piece of data mean what we think it does, or might our cultural or personal lenses be causing some distortion?

Conceptualization (Where We Go Wrong): Once again, the quest for cognitive efficiency that leads us to further condense our interpretations into a set of conceptual theories and beliefs serves an important purpose but also threatens to lead us astray on a regular basis. As we refine our experiences from perceptions (observed data) to conceptions (abstract theories and beliefs), by necessity we leave out vast amounts of potentially crucial information as we streamline and simplify. So it's worth asking: How might our theories and beliefs fail to fully account for what's happening right now?

Action (Where We Go Wrong): By the time we've reached the top rung of the Ladder, we're executing our behavioral sub-routines like clockwork. But that consistency in part reflects our resistance to any form of cognitive dissonance that might threaten to disrupt the process; as I've written before, "when our attitude and our behavior are inconsistent, we experience discomfort and even distress, and we modify either our attitude or our behavior to reduce the inconsistency." [3] Further, research suggests that we tend to change our theories and beliefs in order to bring them in line with our preferred course of action. [4] So it's worth asking: Are we truly taking thoughtful action, or are we on autopilot?

One further, systemic source of error is the Reflexive Loop, first noted by William Isaacs: Our theories and beliefs affect the data we select, typically resulting in the selection of data that reinforce those theories and beliefs. As David Bradford is fond of saying, "Whoops--I'm right again!"

The fundamental problem here is that the Ladder carries us rapidly away from our actual, lived experience into a cloud of abstraction, where it can be extremely difficult for reality to penetrate. As Argyris writes, "This ladder of inference shows...that the evaluations or judgments people make automatically are not concrete or obvious. They are abstract and highly inferential. Individuals treat them as if they were concrete because they produce them so automatically that they do not even think that their judgments are highly inferential." [5]

But we shouldn't give up hope, as Rick Ross notes: "You can't live your life without adding meaning or drawing conclusions. It would be an inefficient, tedious way to live. But you can improve your communications...by using the ladder of inference in three ways:

Becoming more aware of your thinking and reasoning (reflection);

Making your thinking and reasoning more visible to others (advocacy);

Inquiring into others' thinking and reasoning (inquiry)." [6]

An even simpler way to use the Ladder is to determine what rung we're on, pause, and drop down a step (or two):

• If we're taking action, pause, and ask ourselves what theories and beliefs are driving our action.
• If we're formulating theories and beliefs, pause, and clarify the meaning we're imposing upon the data at hand.
• If we're interpreting data, pause, and determine just what data we've selected.
• And if we're selecting data, pause, and check to see what other data might be out there.

 

Postscript: The Ladder and Emotion Regulation

Argyris, who died in 2013, developed the Ladder decades ago without the benefit of contemporary neurological and psychological research, but we can certainly view it as a tool to support emotion regulation [7], more specifically the process of cognitive reappraisal, which Columbia University psychologist Jason Buhle describes as "a strategy that involves changing the way one thinks about a stimulus in order to change its affective impact." [8] David Rock, who's written extensively on the implications of neuroscience for coaching and organizational life, notes that "when we pull apart the difference between an event and our interpretations of it, we are setting the stage for reappraisal," [9] which is a concise description of how to use not only the Ladder but also Rock's own SCARF model for deconstructing perceived social threats. [10]

But this highlights the difficulty of "pausing" at the various rungs on the Ladder, as advised above, because the entire cycle of selecting and interpreting data, fitting our interpretation into a set of theories and beliefs, and taking action can be completed in just fractions of a second. This is where our capacity for mental control and emotion management are critical. [11] Comprehending the Ladder is just the first step; to put it into practice in real life we have to continually develop our abilities to intervene in our cognitive and emotional processes, direct our attention toward certain stimuli (and away from others), and learn to regulate our thoughts and emotions without suppressing them. And that's much harder work.

 

---

Footnotes

[1] Overcoming Organizational Defenses: Facilitating Organizational Learning, page 88 (Chris Argyris, 1990)

[2] When Heuristics Go Bad

[3] Attitude, Behavior, Cognitive Dissonance and Authenticity

[4] Neural activity predicts attitude change in cognitive dissonance (Vincent van Veen, et al, Nature Neuroscience, November 2009)

[5] Argyris, pages 88-89

[6] "The Ladder of Inference," Rick Ross, page 245 in The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook: Strategies and Tools for Building a Learning Organization, (Peter Senge, 1994)

[7] "Emotion Regulation: Conceptual and Empirical Foundations," James Gross and Ross Thompson, page 1 in Handbook of Emotion Regulation (James Gross, editor, 2nd edition/2015)

[8] Cognitive Reappraisal of Emotion: A Meta-analysis of Human Neuroimaging Studies (Jason Buhle, Association for Psychological Science, 2013)

[9] Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice, page 360 (David Rock and Linda Page, 2009)

[10] David Rock on Neuroscience, Leadership and the SCARF Model

[11] White Bears and Car Crashes (Thinking About Thinking)

Credits

The most commonly-cited discussion of the Ladder can be found in the outstanding Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, by Peter Senge et al. The Ladder chapter [pp 242-246] is by Rick Ross, and while it provides a concise and useful description of the concept, I find the illustration (by Martie Holmer) unhelpful. It includes seven (!) steps in the process and refers to"meanings," "assumptions," and "conclusions" without offering any substantive distinctions among those terms.

I prefer Argyris' discussion in Overcoming Organizational Defenses [pp 88-89]. It's simpler and more straightforward, although--Argyris being Argyris--it's densely written and requires some understanding of other concepts in his framework. (The Ladder is also discussed more extensively in Argyris' Reasoning, Learning and Action.)

My framework above is a hybrid of Argyris' original and the Ross/Senge version. The former treats "Culturally understood meanings" and "Meanings imposed by us" as separate rungs--I've collapsed them--and omits a step from theories/beliefs to action. The latter, as I've noted, has seven (!) steps, which is just way too many.

Thanks to my Stanford colleagues Carole Robin (who introduced me to the Ladder) and Hugh Keelan (who teaches an informative and highly-entertaining segment on the Ladder each year to our Leadership Fellows).

For serious nerds only: According to William Isaacs, a colleague of Senge and the author of Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together, Argyris' work on the Ladder is "based on a theory of abstraction by Alford Korzybski," a Polish intellectual from the early 20th century [Dialogue, p 408]. Korzybski is best known today for the line "A map is not the territory it represents," although the book from which this concept derives, Science and Sanity, isn't widely read (I've just skimmed online excerpts), and people interested in his theories are generally referred to the more coherent and accessible Language in Thought and Action, by S.I. Hayakawa (which I highly recommend). In the preface to the 5th edition of "Language...", Hayakawa cites Korzybski as his primary influence. Isaacs refers the even more diligent researcher to Samuel Bois' The Art of Awareness, which I haven't read.

Photo by Robert Couse-Baker.

20 Tools for Coaching and Teaching

The resources below have been important tools in my efforts to help clients and students develop their leadership and interpersonal skills, but they can be applied by any leader or manager seeking to support their employees and colleagues.

---

1. Alain de Botton's The Consolations of Philosophy, Status Anxiety and The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work

De Botton is best described as a "pop philosopher"--he addresses important issues in a readily accessible style, and I find the the three books above particularly useful.

2. Brené Brown on vulnerability

Brown is a professor at the University of Houston's Graduate College of Social Work, and her research addresses such topics as vulnerability, authenticity, courage, empathy and shame. This 20-minute TEDx talk shot in Houston in 2010 is one of the most-viewed ever--I've seen it many times and continue to find it useful.

3. Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups

In this 2001 HBR article Vanessa Druskat and Steven Wolff make a compelling case that a group's effectiveness is based on norms that help its members deepen emotional awareness and exercise emotion regulation.

4. Carol Dweck's concept of fixed and growth mindsets

Stanford psychologist Dweck has found that we tend toward one of two "mindsets"--in a fixed mindset we view our abilities as inherent, and we view mistakes as character flaws, while in a growth mindset we believe our abilities can be developed through persistent effort, and we view mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. Coaching with the Brain in Mind

Written by executive coach David Rock and Linda Page, this wide-ranging book explores a series of bedrock concepts (from ontology to management theory) that support "coaching pillars," which in turn underpin a "neuroscience platform."

6. Dan Oestreich's blog

Oestreich is a coach and consultant based near Seattle, and I've found his writing to be a great source of learning and inspiration. He's one of the most heartfelt and personal writers on this list, and he illustrates his blog with an assortment of stunning nature photographs--usually taken on hikes in the Pacific Northwest. (I was honored to be interviewed for his newsletter in 2012.)

7. David Foster Wallace's "This Is Water"

In 2005 author Wallace delivered the commencement address at Kenyon College, after his suicide it was published in The Wall Street Journal. An original audio-recording is available on YouTube, and I've adapted both sources into an integrated version. It's worth noting that Wallace had a history of violence and abuse, and even his close friend Jonathan Franzen has made clear that Wallace shouldn't be viewed as some sort of "great and gentle soul." But the failings of the messenger don't eliminate the value of the message, and I've learned much from Wallace's message here.

8. David Rock's SCARF model

Rock, a coach based in New York, studies current neuroscience research and discusses its implications for leaders and managers. One of his most compelling findings is this model that helps to explain the types of interpersonal situations likely to trigger a threat response.

9. Don't Break the Chain

This absurdly simple site is still the primary tool I recommend to clients to track daily activities.

10. The HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees

I'm one of the co-authors, so I'm hardly an objective reviewer--but I still think this book is a great coaching and teaching resource, and I'm proud to be associated with the other contributors.

11. Helping: How to Give, Offer and Receive Help

Edgar Schein's 2009 book is the single best resource I know on how to initiate and sustain successful helping relationships, and while it's had a substantial influence on my approach to coaching and teaching, I also believe its message is relevant to any leader.

12. How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life

This 2016 book by coach and consultant Caroline Webb is one of my favorites. Webb explores a trove of research findings from social psychology, neuroscience and related fields and translates them into actionable guidance for professionals.

13. The Life Cycle of Learning Design

A post based on my own experience as a teacher and curriculum developer.

14. The Neuroscience of Joyful Education

Judy Willis is a former neurologist who obtained her teaching credential after a 15-year career in medicine and now teaches at Santa Barbara Middle School. Willis also writes about how to apply what we're learning from neuroscience research in educational settings, and this 2007 paper has had a significant impact on my own approach to teaching.

15. Managing Oneself

I came across Peter Drucker's Harvard Business Review essay, first published in 1998, while I was in business school, and it continues to influence my work with clients and students today.

16. The Resilience Factor

This 2002 book by psychologists Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatté explores their theory that resilience is comprised of seven specific practices, each of which we can pursue more deliberately as we seek to build our capacity to persist through difficulties, overcome obstacles and deal with setbacks. It's been on my syllabus in The Art of Self-Coaching ever since I launched the class at Stanford in 2015.

17. Self-Science: The Subject Is Me

This out-of-print book from 1978 by educators Karen Stone and Harold Dillehunt provides a curriculum for elementary school teachers, and yet I've found it a great source of inspiration in my teaching and coaching. Stone and Dillehunt taught at the Nueva Learning Center--now known as the Nueva School--and were among the pioneers of social-emotional learning.

18. Syllabus: Notes from an Accidental Professor

This 2014 book by cartoonist Lynda Barry had a profoundly liberating effect on my work with groups, not only with students in a classroom, but also in any facilitation process.

19. What Should I Do With My Life?

For this 2003 book Po Bronson interviewed some 900 people who were struggling with this question, and just over 50 of their stories made it into print. It doesn't quite rise to the level of Studs Terkel's majestic oral histories, but with its focus on people struggling to find a sense of meaning and purpose it's a uniquely valuable resource that I highly recommend.

20. Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?

In 2006 UK-based coaches Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones expanded their Harvard Business Review article into a full-length book, drawing upon experiences with their clients to illustrate their core concepts. It's one of my favorite readings in any field.

 

Updated February 2022. Several of the resources that were originally included here are no longer available or seemed less relevant, so I replaced them in order to keep 20 items on the list (a number chosen at random when I first published this post in response to a request from a friend.)

Photo by Ron Matson.

Mac McKinsey's Deathbed Epiphany

Duff McDonald's new book, The Firm: The Story of McKinsey and Its Secret Influence on American Business, discusses the management consulting firm founded by James "Mac" McKinsey in 1926, which a number of my MBA students at Stanford have joined over the years. [1]

I haven't yet read the book, although I've seen a number of reviews, including one in The Wall Street Journal just a few days ago. [2] But the commentary that I found most interesting was a letter to the Journal by Bob Wittebort of Chicago:

Stewart Pinkerton's Sept. 7 review of Duff McDonald's The Firm refers to "Mac" McKinsey's controversial engagement with Marshall Field & Co. in the late 1930s, during which he was elected chairman of the board and vested with broad executive power. He wielded that power ruthlessly and, many thought, without respect for the long-settled "Field way." In their history of Marshall Field, Lloyd Wendt and Herman Kogan poignantly describe the lesson McKinsey himself drew from the experience: "McKinsey was informed that unless he changed his management tactics dramatically, his resignation would be demanded at the end of the year. Two weeks later, McKinsey was critically ill with pneumonia at Woodlawn Hospital. To his friend James Margeson, who called at his bedside, he observed, 'Jim, never in my whole life before did I know how much more difficult it is to make business decisions myself than merely advising others what to do in their businesses, without having to take the final responsibility myself.' The following day he was dead." The very best consultants share this wisdom; indeed, it might be what makes them the very best consultants. [3,emphasis mine]

While I'm not a management consultant, there's a lesson here that's highly relevant to my work as a coach, and, I'd argue, to all our helping relationships. I'm able to help others face challenges and make difficult decisions, in part, because their challenges are not my challenges, and while I'm deeply invested in my clients and students, I'm not attached to any particular outcomes for them. [4] In a sense, I'm able to provide help precisely because I don't fully experience what my clients and students experience.

In Coaching with the Brain in Mind, David Rock and Linda Page describe this process from a neurological perspective. When we're faced with a challenging situation and weighing our options, they write,

The input we think is purely from our senses in fact arrives already saturated with amygdala and "top-down" (i.e. highly interpreted) processing... Coaches are trained to ask questions that elicit information stripped of its top-down implications in order to set the stage for creative responses rather than mindless reactions. The next step is to generate options for interpretations other than the ones that the client automatically arrived at. Because amygdala arousal can reduce processing power in the prefrontal cortex, clients benefit from "borrowing" the less-aroused brain of the coach to aid in generating these options. [5]

Returning to Mac McKinsey, it was probably easy for him to imagine that he had all the answers--and perhaps that his clients were foolish for ignoring his patently sound advice--when he wasn't ultimately responsible. What's tragic is that he seems to have fully understood this--and truly felt empathy for his clients--only on his deathbed.

A fundamental challenge we face when we're helping others--particularly in informal helping relationships with colleagues, friends and family--is to make effective use of the critical distance that separates us from those we're seeking to help, while also remaining deeply empathetic to the difficulty they face as the responsible party. If we err on the side of distance, we fall into McKinsey's trap, and we fail to appreciate how much more complex and daunting the situation may appear to the other person. And if we err on the side of closeness, we may get caught up in the other person's experience and feel it so fully that we're no longer as helpful in the process of filtering information and generating options.

---

Footnotes

[1] The Firm: The Story of McKinsey and Its Secret Influence on American Business (Duff McDonald, 2013)

[2] Book Review: The Firm by Duff McDonald (Stewart Pinkerton, The Wall Street Journal, 2013)

[3] The Shoe Was on McKinsey's Foot (Bob Wittebort, The Wall Street Journal, 2013)

[4] Investment vs. Attachment

[5] Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice, pages 355-356 (David Rock and Linda Page, 2009)

The HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees

UPDATE, January 2015: A revised edition of the HBR Guide to Coaching Employees is now available.

---

Harvard Business Press has just published the HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees, and I'm proud to be one of the co-authors. My contributions include the book's introduction, Coaching Is Leading, as well as Giving Feedback that Sticks and Help People Help Themselves, on self-coaching (a topic I'll discuss at greater length in my forthcoming book.)

While I'm clearly not an objective reviewer, over the years I've found HBR's compilations to be tremendously valuable resources, and I believe this Guide lives up to that standard. HBR organized an talented lineup of contributors, and I feel honored to be among them. If you need proof, here's the Table of Contents:

HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees

Introduction: Coaching is Leading by Ed Batista

Section 1: How to Coach Your Employees

1. Cultivate the Mind-Set and Skills to Coach Effectively by Candice Frankovelgia

2. Using Brain Science to Get the Best from Your People by Edward M. Hallowell, MD

3. You Need a Coaching Plan

4. Giving Feedback That Sticks by Ed Batista

5. Tailor Your Coaching to People’s Learning Styles by David A. Kolb and Kay Peterson

6. How to Coach People in 15 Minutes a Day by Daisy Wademan Dowling

7. Deep Smarts by Dorothy Leonard and Walter Swap

8. Help People Help Themselves by Ed Batista

Section 2: How to Customize Your Coaching

9. The Young and the Clueless by Kerry A. Bunker, Kathy E. Kram, and Sharon Ting

10. Saving Your Rookie Managers from Themselves by Carol A. Walker

11. Coaching Your Stars, Steadies, and Strugglers by Jim Grinnell

---

Thanks to Tim Sullivan for asking me to get involved and to Lisa Burrell for her tremendous insights and patience as an editor. And thanks to my students and colleagues at Stanford and my clients in private practice--everything I've learned about coaching derives from my work with them, and I'm continually grateful for the opportunity to have worked alongside them.

The Inside-Out Effect

The Inside-Out Effect: A Practical Guide to Transformational Leadership, by Behnam Tabrizi and Michael Terrell, was published earlier this year, and I was particularly eager to read it because (full disclosure) Michael and I have worked together at Stanford, and I consider him a good friend.

The Inside-Out Effect offers a set of tools and techniques that support personal growth and development, with a focus on professional fulfillment and effectiveness. Woven throughout are first-person perspectives from Michael and Behnam on their own journeys that give the book a warm, conversational feel.

Michael and Behnam call their organizing principle Know-Be-Lead: First, know yourself more fully and at a deeper level. Then be that fuller self by setting goals and taking steps to effect change where needed. Finally, lead others authentically by helping them to know and be their fuller selves in turn. The book introduces tools and techniques to support each phase of the process, often discussing the behavioral research or psychological principles that explain why they work.

Starting with Know, Michael and Behnam note that "The first step toward greater self-awareness is clarifying who you are not," [p 38], and they discuss the concept of "identity pitfalls": We can deceive ourselves into thinking that our stories about ourselves, our appearances, our thoughts and emotions constitute our identities, when they're merely fleeting or superficial aspects. Michael and Behnam cite Eckhart Tolle's concept of the ego as an "illusory sense of identity," and while I'm ambivalent about Tolle as a contemporary spiritual figure, I fully agree that we can take the most trivial parts of our selves and treat them as if they were the most important--a theme echoed by writers from Seneca to David Foster Wallace.

Having begun the process of understanding who we're not, Michael and Behnam move on to exploring who we are. They recommend a range of tools, from personality diagnostics to journaling and meditation, aimed at helping us find the sweet spot that exists at the intersection of our strengths, our sources of meaning, and our sources of joy. Then they walk through the process of defining our values and pulling all this data together into a Calling-Vision Statement, "a guide for the actions you take...a map for how you will show up in every one of your interactions." [p 101]

One cautionary note on personality diagnostics: While Michael and Behnam write thoughtfully about their personal experiences with the MBTI and the Enneagram, and there are coaches I respect who use these tools extensively, they're subject to misinterpretation and misuse. Tools like this can serve as helpful starting points in seeking to understand ourselves, but I believe we need to assess their results with care and healthy skepticism.

The Be section of the book focuses on identifying goals and effecting change, ranging from small steps that will allow us to feel more fulfilled in our current lives to large-scale, fundamental transformations. Michael and Behnam recognize that while goals can be powerful motivators, they can also generate anxiety. While small changes may feel within our capabilities, we may doubt whether they'll make a meaningful difference. And while we may feel the need to make big changes in our lives, we may also worry that it's too late to do so--or that the financial impact of such changes will be unacceptable. Michael and Behnam discuss research from a number of sources that provides a helpful context within which we can wrestle with these concerns and reach our own conclusions.

In their chapter on change, Michael and Behnam focus on the importance of emotion and ritual, referencing Jonathan Haidt's "Elephant and Rider" metaphor to describe our emotional and rational dimensions. Sustainable change occurs when we both 1) provide the "rider"--our rational, analytical consciousness--with a clear "map" in the form of accurate data about ourselves and specific, written goals, and 2) spur the "elephant"--our emotions--in the right direction through a motivating vision, peer support, and tools such as visualization, energy management and action triggers.

The book's concluding Lead section addresses the importance of authenticity and emotional intelligence in leading others, and a final chapter emphasizes the importance of mindset, celebrating milestones and victories and the ongoing process of self-renewal.

While I recommend The Inside-Out Effect, I do think it could be stronger in a few areas. There are passages where Michael and Behnam quickly touch on a topic that warrants further exploration. For example, in their chapter on change, they note the importance of self-compassion when we fail to accomplish our goals, and in their chapter on leadership they mention the value of standing up for one's beliefs even when it's difficult. These are complex dilemmas that come up frequently in my work with clients and students--and in my own life--and there are no simple solutions. I certainly don't expect Michael and Behnam to provide ready-made answers, but a deeper discussion of these challenges would be helpful.

Michael and Behman are scrupulous about citing their references, and I appreciate their generous acknowledgment of the work of others who've influenced their thinking. That said, there are a few works that appear frequently in the text or the footnotes, such as Chip and Dan Heath's Switch and Steve Jobs' 2005 Commencement address at Stanford, and while those works are clearly top-shelf influences, seeing them crop up multiple times felt somewhat repetitive.

These issues aside, The Inside-Out Effect is a great resource for anyone looking for a straightforward, actionable set of tools to make change easier, ranging from modest behavioral goals to a large-scale professional transition. While I've been transparent about my friendship with Michael in this review, I've also been candid with my criticism, so I feel completely objective in encouraging you to buy the book (or get the app!)